Elliott

I grew up and spent the majority of my life in Fishers, IN. Technically, I was born in New York but my family moved about 3 months after I was born. Currently, I am a senior in Computer Science – I've also been pursuing two minors in Liberal Arts: Philosophy and History. Growing up, I've had trouble finding inclusive spaces in Indiana. In the suburbs of Indianapolis (where I've spent the majority of my life), many families are conservative, religious, and there's not much diversity in the community. It's a traditional environment. That lack of diversity made it harder for me to find resources and accepting spaces when I was starting to come out. I wish I'd had role models or a direct window into queer culture. Obviously, it's difficult to speak for the whole state. I'd be content being a gay male in Indianapolis but for most people who live in rural areas, I think that would be difficult. There's a big difference between the whole society and your small community.

After I graduate, I plan to move to San Francisco. I've spent summers there and California is just so different from Indiana. San Francisco is a vibrant and diverse place and it's become like home to me. Knowing that I'll soon be on the west coast in such a liberal area where I know I'll fit in has given me a lot of excitement. Knowing that I'll soon be on the west coast in such a liberal area where I know I'll fit in has given me a lot of excitement. I feel like when I go back to Fishers now I don't feel as tied down. It's the place I grew up but my community and my home are no longer in Fishers. Going to college has really helped me figure out who I am and where I'm at.

I identify as gay or queer depending on the situation and space. There are some places where I care more about labeling my sexuality to describe my preferences and what kind of people I'm interested in and in those places I'd use gay to label myself. But there are also places where I care about identifying as a part of the community's political and social goals of liberation and there I am more likely to use the term queer because I want to speak to the whole family especially since a white gay man is historically what people think of when they hear queerness. I want to use my label to remind people that queerness is more than just gay guys.

I think my sexuality is a large aspect of who I am. It's something that influences how I see everyone. It's not just about who I'm romantically or physically involved with, it's how I view the world and see all people. My sexuality has given me the experience of a struggle and shifted my perspectives on how I view a minority. Coming out for me was long and overdramatic but it's inevitably shaped how I now see things. I wouldn't really change anything about my experience with my queerness, but I do wish I could have been more involved in activism in causes that I care about. Now that I am involved in activism, it gives me confidence in who I am and what I believe in. Being around a bunch of people who are passionate in these liberal leftist causes that I am passionate about made me wish I could get to know those people earlier.

As a teenager, I always feared rejection and feared not being accepted. A lot of that was tied into my faith. I take my spiritual life very seriously and so it was hard when I realized my sexuality. I tried to rationalize what I felt with what I had been taught – that created a lot of internal conflict. The isolation that comes with rejecting myself and fearing others was what I used to fear. I no longer have those fears due to my own self development and a lot of it is the community I have found. I have friends that are truly allies that will look out for me no matter what in all aspects of my life and that gives me comfort in who I am. I no longer fear someone's disapproval of me will change how I think of myself. I currently fear the presidential administration but in terms of my sexuality, I don't really have any fears.

I am fortunate to feel accepted in many different places. The first place that pops into my mind when it comes to where I feel most accepted is my workplace, Greyhouse. My co-workers are all so different yet we all respect and love each other. I've known the staff very well for a very long time. We all have differing beliefs but I trust them as people who truly care and love me. I also have found acceptance joining YDSA (Young Democratic Socialists of America) on campus. The group's focus on social and political activism has made it an accepting space. YDSA is just a bunch of people who are passionate and mobilized about social issues. It's been really cool to be in a room where I don't have to advocate for things I care about – I can listen to others about how much they care about these issues I also care so much for. It's been really cool to be in a room where I don't have to advocate for things I care about – I can listen to others about how much they care about these issues I also care so much for. In school, I've loved meeting students and faculty through our LGBTQ center. It's made me realize there is a persistent group of people working to make queer spaces at Purdue and I'm thrilled they are here.