Bethany and Aimee

Bethany and Aimee

Relationship: Married

Pronouns:

Bethany: she, her, hers

Aimee: she, her

Where are you originally from?

Bethany: Just south of San Francisco in the Monterey Bay area.

Aimee: Lafayette, Louisiana

Do you label your sexuality? If so, what?

Bethany: Queer, but I'm okay with lesbian.

Aimee: Queer.

Do you find that Indiana is an inclusive environment for the LGBTQ community?

Bethany: In Downtown Lafayette I feel relatively safe but its situation based. We will sometimes survey the environment and see if we should act or "pretend" not to be together or if we can act normally as a married couple. As for Purdue's environment, the American Studies department is amazing. I've always felt welcome and I think about half of the graduate students are also queer. Everyone is so welcoming. I've been open since I've been here in Indiana and at Purdue.

Aimee: I mean...Lafayette is not bad. I've definitely lived in worse places. The most intolerant place I've lived is northern Texas - it was a super Biblical and tiny place and Baylor was a Baptist university. I've gotten the occasional side eye here but nothing outwardly hostile.

Is there a place, as a couple, where you feel most accepted? Are there places you avoid?

B&A: Akropolis is our go-to really. It was just this little place that we found and because we loved it so much, we tried to adopt the family and we even had our rehearsal dinner there!

Would you consider your sexuality a large part of your life or something that is just a small part of who you are?

B: I would say it's been a very large portion of my life because it's affected everything in my life...my family, my friends, where we can live, what we can do, how we can start a family, etc.

A: It's for sure a really large portion of who I am. I feel a lot more comfortable around other queer people. The majority of my close friends are somewhere on the spectrum. I think that's because I was in the closet for so much of my life. I didn’t realize my sexuality until I was 19. I was engrained in such a heteronormative world. In Louisiana, women are raised to know how to cook for their husbands and plan on having kids. I feel like I can freely express myself now confidently and I'm making up for all those lost years. Most of what I watch is gay and most of what I say is gay...I like to make a lot of gay jokes!

How did the area you grow up shape you in regards to your sexuality? (Would you say your environment made you more open or more closed off in regards to your sexuality?)

B: Though I grew up in California, I had a very religious upbringing which greatly affected how I viewed my sexuality. I was very closed off and it's been a long road to get where I am today

A: It shaped my experience with my sexuality. Once I figured out I was gay, I didn't have any problems with it. I just had no idea because the South puts so much of a stereotype on relationships with men. I expected that not enjoying my relationships was normal – it literally never occurred to me that I might not be straight. So yeah, growing up I just accepted that I was going to marry a man and be miserable but then I came out, and after a fair amount of pushback, everything was chill.

What is your biggest fear about being queer in Indiana?

B: I definitely worry about how our future kids will be treated...I don't think Indiana is yet an accepting place for queer parents. Aimee and I went to foster trainng together and were the only queer couple. We had our fears when we were planning our wedding as well...we worried how people would treat us. We didn't want to approach people we didn’t know about anything.

A: My biggest fear is really just a career. I worry that I have to be careful about what I say at work on the off chance that they don't have protections in place for me.

Do you see Indiana as your forever home?

B: I think we would like to move somewhere else but we've enjoyed it here thus far. We really want a bigger area.

A: Maybe, maybe not. I don't dislike it at all. We apparently both just like to move across the country for fun. We may be here forever or we may just move in a month! That's truly how we got here...we just decided to leave.

If you could change anything about your experience in Indiana, what would it be?

B: Getting more involved in the community in general!

A: I wish I would've gotten more involved in the LGBTQ community faster than I did. I also wish I would have stayed more involved. I wasn't really invested in it or super involved but I want to be more. But that's not even Indiana, that's on me.

Where do you feel you are most accepted in Indiana?

B: I really love the Roller Derby Team. It's a great community!

A: I love working at Walgreens. The store and my co-workers are super amazing and accepting.