Teddy

I grew up in Waterloo, Indiana – a small rural town in the northeast corner of the state. I began to realize my sexuality in 7th or 8th grade but never really came to terms with being gay until I was junior in high school. I was homeschooled my sophomore year and really struggled with coming to terms with my own sexuality. I remember watching Glee and really starting to get into gay culture. Growing up, I never knew much about homosexuality except for what I saw on TV or what the people close to me said. I distinctly remember always hearing: "Gay people die of AIDs, gay people aren't in committed relationships, gay people mess around and get in trouble..." My family told me that everyone they knew that was openly gay growing up had died of AIDs. In my youth, I loved playing with Barbie's and dressing up...my sister and I would have fashion shows. I just liked it. I liked wearing lipstick! Which didn’t necessarily mean I wanted to be a girl...I just enjoyed being feminine and always was throughout my life. I wouldn’t say I had a coming out moment or moment of realization. I always knew I was different from other guys but I didn’t quite realize I was gay.

I am now studying Printmaking and Drawing at Ball State University. I truly feel most accepted in the BSU art rooms and art building. I believe BSU is a rather inclusive place. Like most universities, I feel like we're in a bubble. I put myself in the School of Art where everyone is very liberal and loving. I hang out with a lot of gays so of course they're accepting of other gay people. I actively place myself with likeminded people. I think my sexuality is a large part of my life but I don't really like to focus on it. Today, identity is huge. We all want to label ourselves with our pronouns and sexualities but I'm just Teddy.

I try to think of Indiana's government and Indiana's people as two separate entities even though that’s difficult to do at times. Knowing Mike Pence was in support of conversion therapy just shows us how far we have yet to go as a people and a state. My professors are a little worried right now about me receiving backlash for the print I just made (pictured right) it says: "For the love of God, love Gays." I personally don't have that fear of backlash, but my professors have seen violence against gays for similar actions in different generations. It just shows you how far we've come yet how far we have yet to go. Fortunately, I've never faced abuse for my sexuality.

I think social media and dating apps are really starting to mold our society both positively and negatively. I personally think apps like Tinder and Grindr are somewhat depressing because of the strong influence of hookup culture. I'm not looking for that. I want a human connection and won't find it there. We're all looking for some sort of affection and that's why we use those apps. I see social media and dating apps as both a positive and negative entity. I can't say that some good doesn’t come from Grindr – but I do see those apps allowing others to see people that are just like them. Perhaps it's my Christian background, but I try to avoid hookup culture that is so dominant in 2017.

I do not see Indiana as my home forever. I've been here for twenty-one years. I want to see things and do more things than Indiana has to offer. Still I wouldn't change anything about my experience in Indiana – I'm happy.